Gayzel got a Promotion!!!

Ok…its been a while…..(Obama is My excuse…now what?….its a BLACK THANG!!!)..alot of stuff has gone dizzle….for starters Samiir (Taliban turn Cafe Owner) and Shaneekwa (Bad Ass Russian Who hates Me)  finally had a baby  and the shit hit the fan..(It wasnt hairy and didnt have a dot on Its head….damn damn damn!)……It was super boootimous…..It came out half Black and half Russian….It kinda looked like Me…..(not like George Michael)….but all caramely…..and Samiir was in deep shit with His Mom….(She made some joke about the baby being to Lazy to stand in line for bread)…so These two moved far away to Tacoma and now My Boss is Samiir older Brother…Shazad….He is a total 180 of Sammi…..He looks like a Greek God ….(6.2)…..Stronge jaw…Black Hair..(brown sun kissed highlights)…Grey Eyes…a bod that wont stop and super tailored clothes..(shows the Junk ….front to back!)…His only flaw is dating trashy white girls….so…when the switch happened I was on My game….(like Chris Brown on Rhianna’s Face) …I showed up early…(not like a Mexican)…washed My hands after using the bathroom…(not like I used to do)…and started to wear underwear….(Lindsey that was for You)…Jesus must have noticed cuz now I am shift leader….My only down fall is Shaneekwa’s cousin Leroy was My new employee….Leroy is Russian aswell …and about 21 and looks like gap’d tooth Miley Cyrus….(Miley…..Hannah is so much Cuter!!)….I know very cute…so this lil bitch shows up late today….and I am slammed with regulars…..so I dont have time to train Her ass….so She walks behind the counter and says Hi I am…….I say….”LEROY” .. I know….”Leroy!!! run this mocha out to the fat ass on the patio…and then come back and take these bagels to the dikes in the loft…..and after that put on some make up”…..about 3 minutes later She is back in My …(MD SKIN”D CARE) face asking whats next….I let Her know being fast and good at what You do is a great way to get fired and sent back to Russia…(I am protecting Our counrty at this point)…Her eyes got  really wide as if to say “teach Me everything You know Frosted Barista God”….So I quickly showed Her the dish pit….and let Her know that is where She should run if the Feds come looking and also instituted a code word so She can run back there in a jiffy….”Jewish Pork Sandwich”…We practiced while all the college kids were online……She was on it like a runaway slave….after this Cafe excercise She was ready to make drinks…..We headed back to the Coffee Bar….When the Triple Threat walked in….Pradia-Jasmina-and Azeema…My Lil Sisters….actually Azeema, the saneist is Mine the other 2 are cousins…..It was like SuperModel Olson Triplets From The Caspian Sea….Total Arab Princess’ with cream colored skirt suits…tons of matching chain jewelry and huge Chanel bags and sunglasses the size of Hummer WindSheilds……I thought oh FUCK!…..I forgot Her graduation present….so My steel trap mind was on it!!! I screamed “Jewish Pork Sandwich”…Leroy ran to the dishpit (like a dipshit) and I grabbed the cafe deposite and shoved it in a donut bag and handed it to Azeema…She said “Thanks Barx..and then They all ordered Starbucks SOY Chai’s…(I actually think -They think- I work at a STARBUCKS )…..so They all got Vanilla Lattes……They went outside and ignored each other til 3 different town cars showed up and took Them all away…..(to Their dorms or the Mall…but probably to the same Party)…I totally forgot about Leroy and told Her to come out…..(the floors needed scrubbing)…I shouted about 20 times before I went back to get Her out….and look at the ROTC go jogging across the street…Then I decided to go get Her…..after I wrote My number on the outside sandwich board…..I walked back in banging My hips from side to side…J-Lo woulda cried and J-Z woulda dubbed it…..and FoSho Beyonce would have put a Ring on IT!!!….I open the door and saw Shazad with His hands all over Her (My Russian lap Dog)  like a China Man on a RickShaw……Jesus help us!!!  Its Samiir all over again! 

 (stay tuned for what happened next….lets Just say…..Shazad was naked…..Leroy ends up in Jail…..Gayzel gets to date a Pilot…and the triple threat gets down graded to the Jonas Brothers…….Thanks for Reading…(You sad sad bitches)..Much Much Gayzel!

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2 Responses to “Gayzel got a Promotion!!!”

  1. Have you been watching Disney channel again?

    Shazad sounds more like ShaZAM!

  2. down graded to the JO-bros? lolz Me thinks not Barx…lolz…I’d definitely teach them a thing or two…if I liked my men pale with 16 year old tan lines and wanted Hanna “I left my virginity behind in” Montana ‘s sloppy seconds, in which case, I DO NOT…lI’m ashamed that I even know the romanticisms of a teenage diva. MEANWHILE…i love and thank you very much 🙂 i always love being part of the triple threat and reading about your curry characters! 🙂 love ya bhaiya!

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