The lords day..I should use caps…LoRdS DAY!!!
~Happy Sunday folks….I was able to wake up…work on the Jeep…clean the house and get to work on time. While there…I got slammmed by churchies…not Your normal churchies…but Nice People…They were patient, polite and dressed nice.(like they do at Wal-Mart) There was a couple in Their early hundreds, Who were so sweet and polite…they could have been in car sales or telemarketing. There was the token Gay couple, with 2 Manderin Babies…and a Chubby Cheeked Pastor. They all sat around drinking Their drinks talking about everything but church …( HO HO…I said Butt CHurch….hee hee) ~AnyWayz!!! The Elders sat in the sun patio as if to say “hasnt the Lord blessed Us with a Sexy Ass Morning” The Pastor sipped Her Soy Latte, O! hold up!…She orders like this in a British accent”Soy LA’Tay”…like Buckwheat or some shit…ok,…. so She sips Her La’Tay…and looks around as if to say, “yes I gave You peeps a Sexy Ass morning” Now, the Gays are doing both of the 2 things They do best, ingoring each other and flirting with Me. Their babies (Who I call HopSing and Jamal) are safley tucked in those Baby Byorne thingies desperatly looking for some Momma’s milk. One of the Dudes is a total triple D cup ,Bear daddy…however …You can guess the rest…So the Gays, right…They are sipping ..wanna guess??……RIGHT…CHU….ARE!!!!Yeay…Yup, Chai Teas!!… and as They look up from the tea cups (with pinkies out of course) They cast a glance over er’body on the patio..as if to say “We’re Here ,We’re Queer, get used to it”…Or “Hi I am Adam and This is Steve!” HaHAHaHah!!!! that shit was funny, I dont care Who You are……(So!)….All this time HopSing and Jamal are staring at Me, and I realize…I forgot to buy Dogfood, So I rush inside to jot this down in My Hello Kitty organizer…When I run into the Cafe Slut…being Sunday and hella Churchie out, I thought I may burst into flames if I went near Her…so I ran into My cage (behind the counter) and when I got there…She was walking out…. Turns out She was “washing up and headed to work”…My CoWorker said……MMMMMM..[nasty nasty..] By this time it was about Me prepping to get out early. Since it was so busy..the dishes and napkins were piled up…and the recycle was mounting. I had about 20 minutes left and had errands to run after work…..So at about 10 minutes to shift end, a bunch of Models from a rock video filming next door came in and sat down (O Hell No!!!!) I was running around like mad trying to get their orders and close My shift……watch this shit~.When I got close…They all reeked of Smoke and Impulse body spray (We know what thats from dont WE’zzzz?)…I was hoping They would each order a Venti FraBreeze and a Washcloth…however They were all from some far off place where Tea is better than coffee…So …6 breakfast teas with milk…and then the Kicker happened…”do you have a Few nofat nibblies?”…I wanted to say “No!!!, but I do Have 6, Non-Fat EuroWhores on sale”….but on the outside I said “rye toast”…So I give the order to My Co Worker Shaneekwa, the hottest Russian barista working, just to drive them crazy…Shaneekwa sees how much I wanna get out and says…”GO A-WAYS BOY”…So I grabbed My tip’s…threw all the dishes and linen under the Recycle…dumped it all in a box and ran it out to th e Goodwill box across the street….then headed home. Now I am home drinking a RedStripe Jamaican Lager…its like Coors except after a while You start shouting things like JaMan!!! and IREY IREY…and occasionaly, a Jerk Chicken!! Wow…I thought this would be a short note, cuz of the short day and all…sorry to keep You so long Guys….Well thats its for Me today….I have plans to hang out with My buddy tonight and go Bear Hunt’n at a tea dance later….So I guess that means I gotta find that Black Chapstick huh? You know it…..til the Morrow…thanks again for reading Bitchez….I hope You had fun…Gayzel